Sunday, May 6, 2012

surgery and such

Its not long now..... Till I see the Big Man Dr Bittar hes the surgeon about a possible date? To have my decomp surgery done. Ive been thinking about it alot as the time has been getting closer and about what questions I want to ask him.
Things like what kind of waiting list do you have?
How long will I be in hospital (about 2 weeks)
What kind of pain medication can you give me as Im alergic to opiates?
Then I have tricky question like
So how many patients have you lost?
How many have lost mobility?
We are talking about suregery invloving both my Brain and my Spine so its a delicate area I mean we dont want the man to have a cold, and sneeze.
Ive aslo done some thinking about the other alternative as well.. yep the big D I mean what would happen if I dont make it? Do I need to start thinking about what kind of funeral I want? What kind of hymns? Where I want my ashes scattered? Its been playing on my mind a bit...
I spoke to a dear old friend yesterday and told her I was scared I said what if?... She said No it wont happen you've been through enough. I dont want that either I dont want to be called up stairs by Heavenly Father saying "thats enough".
Still its something Ive been thinking about, but I dont have alot of time to dwell on it with Uni assignments coming thick and fast bring on the break only a few more weeks to go!


Simone Triffitt said...

Some very hard things to think about. Lots of prayers for you. xx

Jason Allen said...

Thoughts are with you gorgeous!
Rather than thinking and focusing on the negs - big D and such - focus on the fact that life (a good one) without this op doesn't really sound like a long term option?!

Being on the flip side of this scenario (since Sarah, and me too by proxy and affect, faced the same 'what if' situation coming into her brain surgery) it really doesn't help to concern yourself with the negs for too long at all. The same questions could apply too if you get hit by a bus or car accident and that isn't dwelled on for too long by most people.

Focus on how you will recover in hospy afterwards and recoup at home for a while afterwards. Tee up some lovely friends to schedule/help by delivering some yummy meals for you and the family at home, and coming by to visit for a couple of hours and maybe do a bit of cleaning whilst they chat to you on the couch.

Onwards and upwards, the op really is a no brainer (pun intended! ) and focus on the recoup afterwards and the long term betterment, instead of the negs and concerns with the op itself, or worse case scenario's at the business end of it.

Big hugz, moonbeams, and luv your way.